House Cat
He put the key in the door, relieved to be home. It had been a long frustrating day. Everything that could have gone wrong did and they had lost a patient. House wasn't used to losing. It pissed him off. He had raged at his team all afternoon. Cameron had been in tears. That really didn't give him any satisfaction. She cried too easily. He turned his wrath on Foreman until the young doctor left his office in a rage. That had made him feel a little better. Cuddy had avoided him and even Wilson who usually gave as good as he got, was inexplicably absent all afternoon.
Now he was home, his sanctuary. The pain in his leg would start subsiding soon. He pushed open the door and stepped in. Instead of his comfortable well order living room what met his eyes was total chaos. Books and papers from the bookcase were all over the floor. There were pieces of glass on the piano bench that he recognized as a vase that he had on the top of the piano. The pillows on the couch were shredded and the stuffing adorned the floor like pieces of fluffy snow.
"What the hell?" He limped into the room looking around for the phone to call 911. As he moved further into the room, he got a look at the kitchen beyond the living room. Glasses and dishes were on the floor and the canisters that held the sugar and the flour were on the floor shattered with their contents spread across the tile floor. The water and coffee that had been in the cups and glasses had combined with the sugar and flour on the floor to make a pasty mess.
Where is that damn phone?" He muttered to himself avoiding the broken glass on the floor as he moved around the room searching for the missing phone.
He spotted the phone under the piano and stooped down to retrieve it when he heard a noise on the other side of the room.
He straightened slowly listening. The soft scratching noise came again. It sounded like it was coming from the chair by the bookcase. Cautiously he bent down and picked up the phone but didn't turn it on. Instead he moved as quietly as his cane and bad leg would allow to the chair and peered over the top of the chair.
"MRRRRROOOWWW!" A large furry mass leaped out from behind the chair straight at him knocking him off balance. To keep from falling over, he put most of his weight on his right leg. He yelped in pain and cursed loudly.
He leaned heavily on his cane as he swung around to find his attacker sitting on the top of the piano staring at him with large green eyes. It was a large gray cat with a white chest and paws. The fur was long but clean and looked well groomed.
"How did you get in here?" he demanded looking around the room. He noticed the window at the far end of the room was open. Moving closer he saw that the screen was ripped. Now he had to clean this mess up, fix the window and get the damn cat out of the house.
He figured getting the cat out would be the easiest thing to take care of. He limped to the front door and opened it wide. The cat sat very still on top of the piano watching House with suspicion as he moved across the room.
"Ok, you're free….Go!" He waved his arm at the cat who still didn't move. Frustrated and getting more angry, he stepped closer to the piano and prodded the cat gently with the tip of his cane. Green eyes regarded him warily but still did not move.
At that point House lost the last his patience and moved forward yelling at the cat while he swung his arms and cane toward the piano.
The cat leapt off the piano and ran into the bedroom.
"You stupid son of a bitch. The other door, you moron!." He yelled as a gray tail disappeared into the bedroom.
He followed the animal into the bedroom and flipped on the light. The cat was sitting in the center of his bed. House looked around the room. There was no damage in here. As he moved around the room, the cat watched with interest and finally lay down and curled up looking very much at home.
House glared at him. "You are not going to stay here." He reached to pick up the cat but the animal jumped up and moved out of his reach.
He tried a different tactic and reached out his hand. "Here kitty, nice kitty." He heard a loud purring sound coming from the furry chest but the cat didn't move closer. Each step he made toward the cat, was met with one by the animal away from him.
"This is ridiculous. You need to go…get out." He ran his hand through his hair. This was not working at all.
He went back to the living room and surveyed the damage.
"And the cleaning lady isn't due for 3 days!" He yelled at the cat in the bedroom as he walked to the front door and slammed it shut.
He limped slowly into the kitchen and got out the broom and dustpan and began to work on getting the living room cleaned up. It was a slow job and sometimes painful when he bent his leg the wrong way but finally he had the mess cleaned up.
He sank into the chair to rest his leg before he started on the bedroom. He leaned his head back against the back of the chair. He was supposed to be enjoying his evening, instead his leg was on fire and his place was a mess. He tapped his cane irritably on the floor.
The doorbell rang. He closed his eyes as the irritation mounted. He supposed he should get up and answer the door.
"What!!" He yelled not moving. The doorbell rang again. "Come in if you're not going to go away!"
The door opened and Wilson walked in slowly. "You shouldn't leave the door unlocked you know….."
"Yes, Mommy." House opened his eyes.
Wilson continued as if he hadn't heard. "….anyone could walk in."
House peered at him. "And just has I think. What do you want?"
"Nothing, I just thought you could use the company." Wilson said sitting down on the couch.
House regarded him. "Have another fight with the wife?"
"Not really. I just needed………. You have a cat?" The younger doctor sat up in amazement.
House sat up straight and there was the cat sitting in the door to the bedroom. "I do not have a cat."
"I hate to tell you but that thing sitting in your doorway is a cat." Wilson grinned at him.
"It might be a cat but it isn't my cat." He growled. "It was in here when I got home." He pointed to the window with the ripped screen.
Wilson got up and walked toward the window. His foot crunched on something. He stopped, bent down and picked up a piece of glass. He turned toward House with an inquiring look.
Then he noticed the mess in the kitchen. House followed his gaze.
"The furball from hell did that. I just got the living room cleaned up." He shared tapping his cane against the floor.
"Well let's get the cat out of here and we'll get this mess cleaned up." Wilson said moving toward the cat.
House leaned back against the back of the chair again and watched with a smirk on his face.
"Here kitty, kitty." Wilson coaxed walking slowly toward the cat in a crouch. The cat regarded him passively and backed up as he got closer. Wilson stopped and the cat stopped. He tried again with the same results. In desperation he lunged at the cat. With a hiss, the animal ran back into the bedroom. Wilson swore under his breath.
The younger man turned back to House who was watching in amusement. Wilson glared at him and said. "That cat reminds me of someone."
House smirked and shrugged. "I thought so too, but just can't put my finger on it."
Wilson rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch. "It's a boy." He commented.
"What's a boy?" House asked.
"The cat…it's a boy."
House stared at him. "Did he tell you that or are you just guessing because you smelled his after shave?"
"No, because he has furry little….." Wilson began.
"Too much information." House stood up. "Let's get the kitchen cleaned up and then we'll get the cat."
Wilson looked up at him. "We??"
"Get up!" House ordered and headed for the kitchen. Wilson rose and followed his friend.
An hour later the kitchen was cleaned and they stood looking at each other reluctant to go after the cat again.
"I'll fix the screen." Wilson said turning toward the living room.
House grabbed his arm saying. "Not a chance. We're going to get that cat out of here first."
Wilson rubbed at the back of his neck and sighed. "Ok, lets get it done."
They went into the bedroom. The cat was nowhere to be seen. Searching under the bed, in the closet and all the places a cat could hide. There was no sign of the animal.
Wilson said. "Maybe he left by the same way he got in, through the broken screen."
"I really hate that animal." House growled. "Lets fix the screen and search the place again just to be sure."
An hour later with no signs of the cat, they agreed that he'd probably gone.
Wilson left a while later and House went to bed exhausted. He went right to sleep.
He woke in the middle of the night with pressure on his chest and a little difficulty in getting a deep breath. Heart attack was his first thought. He opened his eyes and found himself staring into green eyes.
"AAACK" He yelped and sat up straight. The cat jumped to the end of the bed and sat there.
"You……." He sputtered at the animal. He got out of bed with the help of his cane but the cat disappeared again. He spent an hour looking for it in every place he could think of but the search was fruitless. He spent the rest of the night sitting in the chair in the living room, waiting for the cat to make another appearance.
The next several days went by with the same routine. He would go to work, come home and look for the cat. There were never anymore messes. The cat would appear at times and sit regarding him with unblinking green eyes. If House sat still the cat would not move. If House got up, the cat would jump down and run. He was never quick enough to see where the animal went.
So for the most part he ignored the cat and left the front door open on the chance that he would leave but his houseguest seemed very content to sit and watch House or listen to him play the piano. House would hurl insults or yell at the cat and would hear a telltale rumbling in the animals chest. This infuriated him more. The damn thing was mocking him with the purring.
It was early evening , House was sitting at the piano playing bits and pieces that came into his head. The cat was sitting on the back of the couch, white paws tucked under his body and his green eyes half closed. The front door was open inviting the cat to take his leave but he seemed very content to be a part of the doctor's life.
There was a knock on the open door and House looked up to see Wilson stepping through the open door. He glanced over at the cat, who had sat up straight watching Wilson with suspicion.
"Wilson. To what do I owe this honor?" House asked.
Wilson smiled looking at the cat. "I see you still have your cat?"
The older doctor scowled at the cat. "I keep leaving the door open but he refuses to leave. And I can't catch him to throw his furry little ass into the dumpster."
Wilson grinned. "Have you named him yet?" He teased.
"I was actually thinking of naming him Jimmy." He said sarcastically raising his eyebrows at his friend.
"Not an appropriate name for this cat. He needs a name that's a little more obnoxious." Wilson countered. "Like maybe Greg?"
House snorted.
"Do you want to go out for some Chinese? I'm at loose ends tonight." Wilson asked as he walked to the couch and sat down.
Before House could answer Wilson noticed something on the floor. He bent and picked up a stuffed mouse. He held it up lifting his eyebrows at his friend.
"Cat toys? You're buying cat toys for this animal?" He said trying hard not to laugh.
House got up from the piano and limped over to Wilson and grabbed the toy away from him. He held it in the air and shook it.
"This is not a cat toy. This is catnip. Do you know what catnip is? He asked and then went on without waiting for Wilson to answer.
"Catnip is a drug to cats. I'm getting him addicted and then when he passes out I'm going to throw him in the river. He threw the toy back down on the floor.
Wilson roared with laughter as the older doctor glared at him. "Oh you are so full of it. You actually like having that animal around." He accused House.
House grabbed his coat and said. " You're delusional. Let's go get something to eat."
Still laughing Wilson stood up and followed his friend to the door and walked out.
As House pulled the door shut, he said to the cat. "Stay, Jimmy."
end